Good communication is essential to providing safe and effective care. As a caregiver you are involved in extremely high level communications on a regular basis: with doctors, family members, home health care providers, insurance companies, and of course, the person you’re caring for.

As a caregiver myself, I know that words are hard to find when there’s been a bad diagnosis or a setback in treatment. This is scary and unfamiliar territory for most of us. Conversation can be tough to start when feelings of guilt, worry and fear are swirling around inside.

If your loved one is dealing with depression or anxiety (which is quite normal during these life passages), you may feel shut out or like you just can’t say anything right. Trying to talk with someone who doesn’t want to let anyone in can be extremely frustrating.

Here are some tips to help you to maximize your moments with your loved one:

• Breathe: Pausing for a good deep breath in and out will help you relax and pull your thoughts together. If communication becomes tense or difficult, another deep breath will help to keep you calm and focused.
• Focus: Pay attention to body language. These are the messages you send to others by the way you hold your body. Position your body so that you are slightly leaning toward the person to show that you are engaged. Doing this alone sends a strong message about how much the conversation means to you. Put aside multi-tasking! Stop texting, folding laundry or going through paperwork, and focus only on the conversation.
• Listen: When you really focus on what the other person is saying, you will of course be more able to respond in a thoughtful, meaningful way. Sharpening your listening skills will also help you be a better advocate for the person you’re caring for. You will be able to move ahead with confidence that you are communicating their exact wishes to others in their circle of care. Listen critically so that you’re sure you’re hearing what the person is actually saying – instead of, perhaps, what you want to hear.
• Analyze: Watch the person you’re talking with as they speak to you. Do their actions match their words? When we are scared, angry or worried, we sometimes say things we don’t mean. Use your skills of analysis before you react. You may be able to pick up on a nervous expression or gesture that leads you to ask follow-up questions and get to the heart of what the person is really trying to say.

Caregiving isn’t always easy, but it comes with benefits! Using the experience as an opportunity to strengthen and deepen a relationship is one of the big ones.

Sign up for Jennifer’s newsletter to get tips that will keep you and those you care for happy and healthy and more at JenniferCares.com, and TakeCareTips.com

NEW RELEASE for CAREGIVERS – October 2009!
Caring Questions by Jennifer Antkowiak (St. Lynn’s Press) provides communication tips and hundreds of conversation starters for caregivers to use to maximize their time with their loved ones.